To Stay Alive.......[Short Story]

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To Stay Alive.......[Short Story]

Meena was in a deep sleep;her face was bright,as the full moon which kept on its struggle to emerge out from the dark clouds hovering over and above her. Meena was dreaming;perhaps sweet dreams,as indicated by the gentle smile which adorned her oval face.As evidenced by her facial expressions and bodily movements,emotions appeared to have taken hold of her,amidst her deep slumber.
                            Saroja kept on pondering,as to the nature of the dreams which have added some color and liveliness to her daughter's face.Though,one after another kept on running through her mind,as the kept on her vigil,lying by the side of her daughter.Meena was no longer her little girl.but a woman.She has attained age the previous day.A sense of pride and joy overwhelmed her.Light that shone around her face grew paler and paler,as the moon above went through  a pitch black cloud. Saroja's joy didn't last long.Sight of Meena, wrapped in her old clothes even on that beautiful day.She had the money,but not the means to provide her girl with clothes."Milk rice with some oil cakes would have added some luster and life to this occasion".She thought.Food and clothes,even basic requirements have become are commodities,in the area where she lived. 
                      

         Grief and doubt troubled Saroja continuously,as the relentless waves of an ocean.She was a big girl at thirteen,but Meena has attained age,as late as at sixteen."Has something gone wrong?";Is it abnormal?Saroja lost herself in thought.'No,no way',she cried bitterly."It is the lack of proper nourishment which has delayed the process.My child is precious;she is perfect",she argues in this manner and consoled herself.

                     As the moon above re-merged.shining in gull glory Saroja pushed herself into reminiscing.Tears started rolling down her cheeks more liberally.They were tears of joy.She vividly remembered those happy days.Her small family made up of Venu,her husband,Ram,her son eldest in the family and Meena,the naughty was happy unit.Venu was a successful farmer with sufficient means and he was very generous and outgoing.Their little home,located by the road side-way just in front of 'Ruhunu Bakery' run by Gunapala Mudalali from Mathara.A sense of relief ran  through her body  relieving her of the pains which tomented her,as she stood stirring the storied past.In spite of the religious ethnic differences,Gunapala family and Venu family cut a common cord almost in all aspects of life.Evening encounters between Gunapala Mudalali and Venu took the shape of family affair and Saroja  actively supported gathering by supplying required ingredients which never failed to include finely tempered Palmyra toddy and fried fish.


      The picture of Meena and Ram playing with Sena who was as old as her son revived her spirits.Saroja knew that Meena has a special liking to Sena who tried to learn Tamil with help from Ram.Sena never came empty handed;he had his hands filled with sugar coated buns and biscuits,products of his bakery whenever he came to play with them.He always had an extra hand to Meena. Interactions among the children in half Tamil and half Sinhala were a treat to watch.Their shouts and  shrieks were equally amusing. Saroja felt an inner craving to her those shouts,to see those sights,even then.

                                   As if  by compulsion,Saroja looked at the other side of the road.Her eyes looked on to the spot where 'RuhunuBakery' stood.What remained there was debris and signs of total destruction.The so called liberation struggle,which turned out to be a full scale war between LTTE rebels and government had resulted is debris and destruction,displacement and dislocation,untold volumes of misery and agony. LTTE's ascendance signaled the downfall of many a people who were forced to flee,penniless and possessionless.An ethnic cleansing was loose in the name of liberation and self determination.The first casualty was Sena and Gunapala.She recollected how Sena came running to see Meena,just before he made his hasty move to Matara with his father.Even at that hour of life threatening urgency he came running to Meena;whispered something in her ears and thrust his parting gift,the silver chain which adorned his neck in to the hands of Meena.Next in line was her own son,Ram who was forcibly moved by LTTE.She hadn't heard of any of them from that fateful day.
           Saroja was brought back to her senses by a call from Venu.As she looked,around she knew that the night was over and a new day has begun.The distant roar of air crafts and booming guns reminded her of the realities of life.As the day broke out,the ceaseless tussle between the contending armies had begun.One shot from this side was responded by two or three from other.Echoing of explosions reverberated from all directions."At least some milk rice,we should have on the table to mark this occasion.I'll try to find some white rice."So said Venu and made his way in the direction of the near by town.Saroja went up to her daughter and sat beside her.Her motherly feeling overcame her;she embraced Meena and showered her with Kisses in r row.
                                            Meena awoke and sat on the mat.She knew well of her mother's plight.The pains her mother has taken to take her through the rituals even amidst such trying circumstances moved her much.She expressed her gratitude by kissing her mother in return."My child,you are no longer a girl,but a woman of age.I'm sorry I'am unable to make this day eventful and memorable."Meena remained silent and joined her mother to light the fire.As Saroja bathed Meena with hot water mixed with flowers and herbs Meena thought of the future that lay ahead of her.Would it have any meaning amidst the trouble and turmoil created by this senseless war which had almost become a part and parcel of their lives?She felt that his brother Ram was beside her,blessing her.As the image of Ram started disappearing the figure of Sena stood before her.The thought of Sena soothed her seething and simmering limbs,as a soothing balm.She knew that he was the man in her life.
                                   Meena yearned for Sena.Clutching the silver chain-Sena's parting gift in her palms,she looked at the debris which marked 'Ruhunu Bakery',the citadel where his prince once lived.She knew that Sena loved her deeply;It was a love untold but amply expressed.She thought how beautiful it would have been if his prince was by her side on this day. Meena knew that she was sobbing,she was crying.the senseless war has ruined her dreams,shattered her expectations and made her existence meaningless.The ruthless war,fought in the name of liberation on one side and territorial integrity on other side has had brought none after all.Loss of life on all sides appeared to be the reality.
             As  a fleet of copters hovered above her Meena ran into her house and she was glad to see her friend and her mother deep in conversation.Her father Venu too had joined them.their body language clearly indicated that something serious was being discussed.Amidst all the turmoil and troubles which travailed them,had they anything so important to be discussed.Meena thought for a while.She beckoned to her friend Kamala.Kamala's response was instantaneous and she joined her in no time.Meena observed that Kamala has changed a lot.She remembered that she too has attained age a couple of monthes back.It appeared that Kamala had been robed of something.Innocence and freshness,integral parts of a young maid appeared to have parted from her.Meena inquired,"What's going on.has anything undesirable taken place?"Kamala responded in the negative.She dragged Meena deep into the house and began to whisper into her ears.Meena reated violently with big thud and an equally big yelling of "No".Meena stood motionless,dejected and depressed.Kamala's utterance was a news revelation.She discovered a new face of the war and its cruelty.
                 Meena's yelling attracted everybody to the room.Saroja found her daughter in a trance.It is true?,yelled Meena at her mother.Kamala had told her earlier that she has been impregnated,outside the wedlock by one of her cousins,with the blessings of her parents in order to avoid being conscripted by LTTE who were trying to swell their ranks by forcible enslavement of women of age.Pregnancy,the precursor to sacred motherhood,kept the LTTE away and it allowed the woman to remain free with their families.Of late LTTE was taking a heave beating and they have intensified their forcible recruitment campaing.Woman.even children were not exempted.
                      Kamala was her aunt's daughter.Meena knew that her aunt and uncle have visited her parents to offer them that escape route.Saroja looked straight in to the eyes of her daughter.Meena stood her ground,unmoved and unperturbed.Saroja held her by the shoulders and shook her violently."No,I'm not going to loose you.I'm not going to allow them to rob you.You must follow Kamala."Saroja commanded,as if possessed by a demon.Meena  maintained her posture and remainded calm and collected.she uttered not a word,but signaled a defiant no by moving her head."Amma(mother),how could you do this to me?Am I not your daughter?" queried Meena,amdist her pleas and protesting."Meena,my darling,try to understand me.I'll do anything to ensure that you remain with us.Those wretched rebels have already robed me of my son.Surely,I'll be a dead woman if you are separated.I want you to stay alive.I want you to be with us,irrespective of the price involved."Saroja cried in a commanding voice.
                Meena ran to her father;and felt on his feet."Appa(father),save me from this cruelty."She implored him in tears.Suddenly,the stream of tears which wetted the feets of Venu stopped.Meena cried no longer,she stopped her weeping and wailing.She raised her head and slowly rose to her feet.As she straightened herself somthing slipped from her hands.It was a silver chain.It rolled down,breaking the silence which intensified the gloom around.With a few circular motions it came to rest right in front of Saroja.As it caught her eyes,she rembered it.Itstirred the storied past and rekindled her memories.It was the gift,the parting gift which Sena thrust into Meena's hands,as he fled for his life,never to be heared,never to be seen.Her lingering doubts were reconfirmed and she knew that Meena was in love with Sena.
       Meena picked the chain;pressed it firmly into her palm and looked straight into her mother's eyes.Through those eyes she told her mother what she could not tell with words.The struggle between a mother and daughter came to an end.Saroja knew she has won the day,but at the price of her daughter's dreams.She thought,"This is price for survival,a cost for existence."She cursed the war;she despised the liberation which it promised."What does the future hold for Meena,as a teenage mother?" she asked herself.
                       Days passed;months rolled,seasons changed and the intensity of the war grew day by day.Booming guns,flying cannon balls added to the fierce struggle between the armed forces and the LTTE.Dead and dying remained scattered here  and there;bleeding and wounded become a common sight.Forced exodus of people took place on a regular basis.Food and water became scarcities.Relentless onslaught of the armed forces the LTTE to go deeper and deeper into hiding.
          Protection which the rebels failed to get from their arms and ammunition,they sought from the people.They forced the people to follow them in to hiding.They raided villages and hamlets in search of able bodied men and women.On that fateful day a group of rebels stromed into Meena's home.Venu fell a victim;he was given a gun and ordered to come with them.Venu raised his voice in protest,but was cut down by a sharp blow to his head.Wounded and bleeding he felt to the ground.Neither his age nor his feeble state deterred them from conscription him.Saroja implored them;prostrated before them,almost touching the feet of the leader.All in vain.Her pleas and protests went unheard and unheeded.The leader kicked her out from his path,as he inched towards Meena.
     The rebel leader touched Meena;he pulled her towards him;he made her to face him.On seeing her,paler he grew,violent he turned.He pushed her away and stormed out of the house.Meena managed to stay afloat without hitting the ground.Her arms ran to her belly,as a sharp pain ran through her body.Her protruding tummy became her saviour.The rebels left them.Venu too had left them.
                     Saroja and Meena embraced each other and tried to console each other silently.Months ago,Meena has submitted to her parents' wishes;slept with a man whom she had newer known and now she stood branded as a married woman.It was not a marriage ideal,but a marriage of convenience,a part of a plot in a survival game.Cruelty of the war,Meena thought,has drowned cherished norms and sacred traditions.
                   She tried to recall his face,whose child she has been forced to carry.she remembered how he tried to be nice with her.Nothing they had in common.All what they shared was the bed on which they slept for a day or two.Within a few days of the so called marriage nothing was heard of him."Has he deserted me?Is he in the hands of LTTE?Am I carrying a child who will never know his father?Am I not a way side cheap prostitute?"Questions in torrents tormented her.she found no answers,but was left in a dilemma.
                      "A prostitute sells herself for cash and kind.Haven't I sold myself for safety and Security?"No,this is how my mother's dream has come true.She wanted me to stay alive"
              "No" Meena told to herself."I'm not so mean and worthless.It's the war which has made a wretch out of me."
                            As expected,the LTTE rebels came back and ordered the people to vacate their homes and follow them deep into the jungle.Meena and Saroja hurriedly collected whatever they could carry and followed them.The rebels used people,as a safety ring and positioned their firing zones and arms dumps among the people,with disdain and disregard to the plight of the people.
                          The war took a new turn and Meena could see the advancing armies on the other side of the lake.Guns boomed relentlessly;bombs exploded repeatedly;fighting went on without a halt;day or night it made no difference,death and destruction continued unabated.The numbers of dead and wounded kept in rising in alarming proportions.The resistance offered by the rebels paled into insignificance in the face of fire power and  fighting skills of the advancing armed forces.The rebels found them cornered from all directions.They had no way out,either through land or sea.people took their chances and tried to flee into the no fire zone established by the forces.This development infuriated the rebels and they turned their guns toward the people to whom their have assured freedom and prosperity.
                A rebel commandant stood before Meena and looked at her inquiringly.Meena faced him convincingly;she thought no harm would befall on her."I'm pregnant,passing almost seven months.Pregnancy is the talisman,which my parents devised for my safety and security.It will save the day for me."She consoled herself.but the unexpected happened;safety evaded her;security was breached right in front of her mother,the very architect of the safety devise.In spite of her mother's pleas and protests she was taken away.Rebels have become so desperate.
                                Meena was dragged along the ground and pushed into a hastily constructed,half finished building.She looked around and the sight of men and woman,all in half clad combat uniforms,lying scattered here and there,horrified her;frightened her.They were the so called freedom fighters dying for a cause,not of their own choice,but devised and decided by some others whom they have never seen.They were victims of war,badly wounded,needing care and concern,wanting sanitation and medication.They carried guns;they killed men and women,not sparing even children in a merciless mission called liberation,but now stood half naked and helpless.
                     Meena felt that her plight paled into insignificance in comparison to the agony and the suffering which she witnessed all around.
                                   She was ordered to care for the wounded and dying.Meena did her utmost to be of some service to those poor creatures.She washed them;fed them;clothed them.Medication failed to heal them,but Meena soothed them with her kind words and caring deeds.In serving them she tried to find a meaning of her existence.
             At times she wondered "How have I become a Good Samaritan in spite of the misery and agony they have brought into my life?"As she cared for them,thought after thought troubled her mind.Pleading face of her mother,protesting face of her father,Clueless face of her brother...one after the other appeared before her.Even,Sena with that silver chain in his hands stood in front of her.Instantaneously her hands ran over her protruding belly.With the greatest of difficulties she broke her link with the fond memories of Sena."May Lord Buddha protect him"silently,she prayed.
                           Meena was confined to those four walls;she heard nothing from her captors,but the sound of booming guns,roaring of flying artilleries told her the untold story.The war has reached its melting point;rebels were loosing all around;people who were forced to come with them were fleeing away.Shouts of "stop" and don't,followed by repeated gun fire signaled that LTTE rebels were loosing control.The number of guards who kept vigil over her and the building,dwindled day in day out.It became an open secret that even the rebels including top commanders were fleeing to safety,mingling and mixing with the ordinary people who took to their heels,in search of safety in the arms of the advancing government troops.
                      Meena too wanted to try her luck.she had enough opportunities,but good not avail of them to her advantage.Frail and fatigued,her body failed her.She could not persist with the drive and determination to flee generated within her.A protruding tummy and the advanced state of pregnancy stood as stumbling blocks.Purpose to survive went astray;perseverance to live died down.As she sunk to the ground the unexpected happened.
                          The roof above went in flames;the accompanying noise deafened the ears;brightness that followed blinded the eyes.The building has got a direct hit.Pieces of artillery fell one after another. Meena could see destruction and debris all around,neither men and women nor building were spared.Meena took to her heels;she ran without any thought of a direction or destination.she stumbled and fell;regained and she ran.How long she ran,she knew not.Where she was running,she had no indication.Fear of death propelled her.Her mother's dream "To stay alive"pushed her forward.she could not continue running any longer;something hit her hard on the head and she collapsed.Cry of "stay alive" reverberate within her ears.even in her unconscious state she could hear "Stay alive" ringing in her ears ceaselessly.
                       Tumultuous and tempestuous atmosphere that reigned supreme around died down.Calm and serenity prevailed.The war that shook the whole area in to pieces has reached a lull;might be temporarily.
                        Meena opened her eyes;regained her senses;blood running over her face told her that she was wounded;intense pain in the head confirmed it.She tried to lift herself to her feet,but was forced down,not violently,but gently.Meena ran her hands around.She knew she was in the lap of an individual.The hands that forced her ran over head,over her face,gentle strokes,thinning her pains,appeasing her agonies.She yearned to see the angle of a person,caring for her.
                                        Meena cleared her eyes looked up and made a direct contact.It was a soldier.The helmet over his head and the protective gear around his neck prevented a clear identification.His eyes were a revelation to her.They were filled with mercy and kindness.Meena saw  something over and above it.Tears rolling down in his eyes,told it;he has truly been moved by her plight.Meena wondered....how could a battle hardened soldier cry for me?
                                 As if to answer he query,the soldier removed his helmet,slowly.His face,like the full moon freeing itself from a dark cloud appeared before her.She blinked,looked again and again.It was Sena and she was resting on the lap of her beloved Sena.Smile in his face reassured her.
                                    Sena passed his hands around her;lifted her up;took her into his hands and planted a gentle kiss on her forehead.Meena closed her eyes and sank into a deep sleep,safe in the arms of her beloved.A flickering flame hope for a tomorrow,she felt within her heart as her mother's cry "Stay alive"echoed within her.
                        War might kill maim;leave debris and destruction in its wake;but with love and kindness in hand the human spirit can withstand them and Stay Alive.
 ~The End~
  
~Austin Fernando
[Writer who is keenly interested in reading & writing,joind BOC(Bank of Ceylon)on 1st August 1969 as a Clerk and climbed the career ladder up to the grade of Chief Manager.He retired from the service on 31 January 2010] 

3rd place of the short story competition conducted by BOC English Literary Association in 2009

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